The Lesson I Learned

I recently had, what was for me a real struggle of faith. To some, it might be stupid that the cause of my struggle was related to our search for a house.

Background: Alex and I intently began our search for a house a year ago last March. Last March we were living in our small one bedroom apartment and I was pregnant. For an apartment, we really liked it but it was barely holding us and we knew it wouldn’t hold our baby too. We found a house that we liked but would have to be completely gutted and re-done, not that hard considering Alex’s experience in home building and both our fathers being in the fix it industry. However, we both had a wrong feeling about it when it came time to submitting the offer. We ended up coming to the end of our lease in our apartment and rather than renew or live in it month to month, we decided to move into Alex’s sister, Kate’s, basement and save for our down payment. We have been looking constantly and ardently since. In our persuit we have suffered many heartbreaking home loses and with each loss I felt my faith slip a little along with my dream. We widened our search from just being N. Salt Lake to Farmington to be N. Salt Lake to Ogden, bringing more options, more searching, and more disappointment. Each day I was praying as hard as I could that we would find a home and each day I felt like my prayers were going unheard as our commitment to live in Kate’s basement for only three months past and then kept on passing. With the arrival of Scout, we became even more desperate for a new place to live. We submitted offers on houses with no luck. With each months passing my faith slipped a little more. I felt like my desire was in line with the Lord’s desire for me, but for some reason He wasn’t answering my prayers and I was becoming bitter. 

Lesson: Fortunately for me, I have the great opportunity of working for the LDS Church and being surrounded by wonderful faithful people who love and desire to lift up their brothers and sisters. I was walking through the break room one afternoon to get my lunch and return to my desk when some co-workers and friends invited me to join them instead. One of these friends was sharing the lesson she learned during her previous night’s scripture study. She said she read a passage in which she read about “waiting on the Lord” that prompted her to further study the subject.  She decided to read more on the subject by reading Elder Hales Oct. ’11 talked entitled “Waiting upon the Lord: Thy Will Be Done”. This wonderful girl sharing what she learned on the subject of waiting upon the Lord changed how I saw things and strengthed my faith so much. Here are my favorite parts of that talk:

“I have often pondered, Why is it that the Son of God and His holy prophets and all the faithful Saints have trials and tribulations, even when they are trying to do Heavenly Father’s will? Why is it so hard…?”

“As we ask these questions, we realize that the purpose of our life on earth is to grow, develop, and be strengthened through our own experiences. How do we do this? The scriptures give us an answer in one simple phrase: we “wait upon the Lord.”¹² Tests and trials are given to all of us. These mortal challenges allow us and our Heavenly Father to see whether we will exercise our agency to follow His Son. He already knows, and we have the opportunity to learn, that no matter how difficult our circumstances, “all these things shall [be for our] experience, and … [our] good.”¹³

“Then, in the dawn of our increased faith and understanding, we arise and choose to wait upon the Lord, saying, “Thy will be done.””

“What, then, does it mean to wait upon the Lord? In the scriptures, the word wait means to hope, to anticipate, and to trust. To hope and trust in the Lord requires faith, patience, humility, meekness, long-suffering, keeping the commandments, and enduring to the end.”

“In my life I have learned that sometimes I do not receive an answer to a prayer because the Lord knows I am not ready. When He does answer, it is often “here a little and there a little” because that is all I can bear or all I am willing to do.”

“Too often we pray to have patience, but we want it right now!”

 “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

I love Elder Hales for giving this talk! I love the girl who reminded me of it in my time of desperation. I hope that any of you who need to be refreshed in your effort to wait upon the Lord will find as much solace in Elder Hales as I did. I do believe that as we ask of Lord with the sincerity to do His will we will find all of our needs met.

You can read Elder Hales full talk at http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/waiting-upon-the-lord-thy-will-be-done?lang=eng&query=wait+lord